Greetings! The Greeting Card Podcast

Mom's Boy Comb for Boys (now w/ marshmallow!)

It's the best worst season for just about anything, so lighten your load and attempt to decongest your sinuses with the cornucopia of greetings we have in store!
Join Bobby, Dan, and the entire team behind Ba'al Omelettes (from Nabisco) as we clear through the spring clutter with topics like not dressing properly, and being cool at one point. We don't make it to a third topic however, as dive right into the justWink greeting card app and all the unrequested grab bag of fun it has to offer! Worth it's wait in Beefed Corn! 
Remember, everything you think is true!

Coming Up on Manswers:

Thanks to another totally not rigged election, Babs and Din get another 45 years as co-hosts of the podcast! So buckle up, because audio-wise, we got you over an egg-barrel!
Join 49.99999% Bobby, 48.75% Dan, and 1.02% Hupp Dhips (write-in) as they scrim and shaw over topics like card stashes, the fun type of people at the grocery store that buy Ore Ida curly fries, and who gets Bobby's wisdom teeth in the Patreon rewards list (don't check, it doesn't exist). Later, these savory sailors rate and review a whale of a card, while sharing our polarizing views on that big blue nightmare void that is the ocean! Comforting!
 
Purchased at Print Bookstores in Portland, Maine!
Created by Emily Winfield Martin! (sorry we called you an ocean ghost, you have a name as powerful as the sea)

Give Us This Day our Daily Slipknot

Valentine's Day may have been a little over a month ago now, but this episode fits squarely in the "Cringe Kitsch Timeless" category, so we're not taking any notes on tardiness! Besides, this is on-brand for us now. 
 
Join Bobby, Dan, and new hero of the cards @mesaloca (wherever your are) as we pull on each others' heartstrings with such topics as money souvenirs, wolf festivals, and finding your Wayne Knight on the Heart Candy Day. Later, the lads dig deep into Big Man's Creek™ (aka the internet) to rate and review and ancient rune of a card, one that makes permanent early internet humor and references "one of the sexier clowning professions". Bobby's words. And you know what? Mine too. This is Dan. 
 
Pee My Mime's Day!

No Beans About It: It's Black History Month!

Are all of YOUR dreams just your regular waking routine, except a little bit wackier? We hope that doesn't involve listening to this, as that would be cheating us somehow!
Join Bubby Bobby, Can't Speak Dan, and all the Latter Day Dinos as they pass the time on subjects like Zoom Smell Technology, February holiday crowding, and whether or not Gen A is getting into grapefruit! Later, in celebration of Black History Month, our hosts rate and review a card that makes them feel warm and supported, even though they are not the target audience! That's how good it is!
Shut Up, I Love You, Okay?!

Every to Be Dead and Then Suddenly Victory

We're a month into the not-at-all blessed year of 2024, so while that new year smell is still pungent, lets merry up this in-between holiday time with some youth sports trauma-dumping, shall we??
Join Babysitter(Club) Bobby, Baby New Year Dan, and Lunch Lady DearHunter as we huddle over a heaping trash can fire fueled with Frieza's advent calendar, media about making snowmen come alive, Gigan, Girlgan, NonBinaryGan, and Chester Cheetah's Build-a-Bear! Later, the lads rate and review a cute and wholesome card that is super great for literally one occasion, one time, and basically one place!
Ignore Your Loved Ones, Record Your Voice!

CHRISTMAS IN FEBRUARY WHY NOT: Porygone Girl

Alright, yes, we're really riding on our non-existent reputation with the delay on this one, but trust me, once we get into the climate change talk you'll be grateful that we waited until the bleakness of early February to get this one to your hopeful ears! 
Join Bobby, Dan, and Aunt Hairdresser Blendle as they make light the burden of the season with Pokemon parodies, Bad-Tameters, and a frank discussion on a changing global climate and how a holiday may reflect that.
Also, the Great-Honorable Bobby has a new piece out in the Tulip Tree Review!! Make worthy your listenership by ordering your copy today!! 
We also talk about a card! it's about hairdressers, and appreciating them! We shouldn't have to spell it out in the description!

CHRISTMAS IN JANUARY I : Mercy X-Treme!

Dan's inability to keep to a regular editing schedule is YOUR good fortune, ding-dongs! For we have every intention of keeping the Grog-Nogging,  Honda-Day spirit rolling, right to the end of January, the bleaker of the winter months (short of Bobby's birthday, of course)!
Join Bobby, Dan, and Late Night Gumby as they go through such scary ghost stories and tales of such glories as nepo baby G.I. Joe characters, Dan yelling about fandoms again, and us trying to popularize the phrase "new son just dropped". Later, the lads rate and review a card straight from the documentary classic The Baton Marching-Death of the Penguins. A perfect choice for BirdSpringa!
Overall, Be Prepared, I think!

GreetsGiving V: Disney’s ”Mrs Duelfire: A Very Goofy Duel”

We hear no boats come sailing in, except for the long-awaited H.M.S. Greetsgiving dingy, spewing forth with Hogsheads filled with greeting cards for one and all in this new year!
Join Admiral Bobby, 2nd Mate Dan, and the entire cast of Caligula (aka our cabin crew) as we ring in the Greetsgiving with Roman Pilum and Lion Units, sad Irish upbringings, and a gentle-yet-constant reminder that episodes will come out whenever this captain's crew damn well pleases!
But hey, we're here now, so lets review the past 14 cards!
We're neither terribly impressed nor frightened, and we hope you aren't either!
Stay tuned for some insanely-late holiday episodes, coming on the next barge in!

Of Course Your Birthday Lasts More Than 30 Minutes, It’s a Whole Day! (w/JJ Focaraccio)

Yes, okay, look, fine, it took us (and by us we mean Dan) a month to get one episode out, but what better way to completely forget about Thanksgiving and barrel straight through to the holiday season than with a little visit down to the Duluth of the podcast superhighway!
Join DJ Bobby, D.J. Conroy, and special guest DJ/ friend of the pod/ very tall friend/co-host of Take Us to the Pilot JJ Focaraccio as we talk and squawk on such topics as The Garofalo Renaissance, cards' use as a romantic device, and meeting the designated lonely person in every municipality! Later, the lads rate and review a pig of a card that's all gas, no class! (not that it matters, we fill most of the hour talking about bubble gum. You know us too well.)
Stay tuned for the first ep. of Dan's CryCast! Let's see how that goes! Or better yet, go listen to the pros at Take Us to the Pilot with JJ Focaraccio and Keith St. Lawrence!

Zsa Zsa Binks (Ft. Dara Silverman)

Yes Yes it's Nov. 8th, but we're still stuck in the bouncy castle inside the haunted mansion that is Halloween merriment, so unless you got some kind of anti-haunting mechanism, or too much holy water, you best follow us three for one more scare of the season, lest you j'regret everything!
Join "Still Spooky" O'Rourke, "Frog in Throat" Conroy, and returning guest Dara Silverman as they rattle their bones on such topics as the Rodent and Duck craze-decades, Scary thresholds, and rebuttals on whether you are celebrating holidays too early! Later, these funky phantoms rate and review a balanced scale of cards. One is cute. The other is a joke about piss. There's your scary story. Now back in the bed-coffin, Dardanelle.
Pick up your copy of Ray Bradbury's "Legs That Ran through Ice Cream Fields" today!