Greetings! The Greeting Card Podcast

Wet Bags at the Awful Zoo

What a disgusting miracle, this episode is! And just in time to be very late for Father's Day!
Join Bobby, Dan, and viceroy Nute Gunray as they "rock" on with such topics as the lost Gary Marshall classics, bootleg video dreams, and modern Dad tropes #gamerdad. Later, these neanderthals rate and review a Father's Day card-slab from Fill Phlims that will leave you feeling like a stone-age idiot! It's a living! Except it's not!
 

You Need Fanta, Turkeys Have Feathers! (w/ Andy Bogatko and Karen Boyle)

EDITOR'S NOTE: We had a little audio trouble on this one, but the laugh and the love are as abundant as ever, and if having a cool, refreshing can of Fanta while listening to this episode doesn't help, were you ever going to like it? Even with Fanta?!
 
Sometimes your favorite thing is 2 things!
Join Bobby, Dan, and special guests Andy Bogatko and Karen Boyle (Kandy, as they're known in the scrolls) as they dimple and dample on where to buy stamps, the physical fallacy of hand turkeys, and getting the goddamn theme song to Sailor Moon right! Later, the gang rates and reviews 2 cards that, AI-generated or not, are more fun than Loose Lamb Fridays at Uncle Deef's!
Remember, Don't with them, Do with Us!

Bob Voyage!, Pt.1: Baz’s Burgers

Bobby's back from travels abroad, and while there may be rust on our bones, that can't muffle the screams, er, songs in our hearts!
Join Bobby, Dan, and Nissan Tobleroni as they dust off the cobwebs on topics like traveling desires, bad zoo-keeping, and Bobby's endless cow charms! Later, the lads rate and review a card from across the pond that wonderfully encapsulates a very specific and potentially uncomfortable relationship! Don't worry, we only make it worse!
Located Off Route Batch in Springdale!

Try the Budget Wings, Dirt Bag!™

Oh, what, you're too good for a Mother's Day card review nearly 2 weeks after the holiday? Some child/listener you are!
Join Bobby, Dan, and Western film star Clayton Gammy as they storm the greeting card congressional floor with angry math, Maya Rudolph bots, and a less-than-lengthy-but-more-than-cursory-glance look at the trending hashtag #bestcardever. Later, the lads rate and review a card that is nothing short of lovely, and reminds us all that just because you have a gazebo doesn't mean it's an event.
 
Sponsored by: Bobby's Congress Restaurant and Fun Bar! "It's A Filibuster for your Mouth!"

Only Shaking Stars

The perfect episode for you remedial Ding-Dongs™ who are just looking to coast until the sweet follicles of summer fall gingerly onto your stupid lap!
Join Bobby, Dan, and the entire cast and crew of "Dracula Loves Beck" as the shake and shimmy while discussing Hungary Water, National Smell Day, and those gross double-walled plastic glasses with goop in 'em that most likely defined a generation. Later, they rate and review what just might be the keystone card in the great "Girls Night" Trilogy!  
Almost as fun as sending Bobby to Eagle School!

Mom Doesn’t Like Bone-In Pizza

An episode that's slightly early for Möthers Däs, but wouldn't you rather be prepared for it for ONCE in your ungrateful life?! Good Answer, we guess!
Join Bobby, Dan, and burgeoning entrepreneur Michael (aka Paul) Slameroni as they jabber on about their cool moms, pizzapathy, and dangerous traditions involving child chefs! Later, these sons rate and review TWO cards that made Dan want to pull the artists' bones out of their body and exchange them for garlic bread!
What the hell does that mean? Download the episode and find out, ya blurb-tourist!

Something To Blart, with Love

Best listened to in the parking lot of a Charby's, shortly after they mess up your buffalo onion slider!
Join Bobby, Dan, and great Uncle NestEgg as they go on for FAR too long about 500 Days of Summer, Paul Blart, and 2007's Funny Games! Later, they rate and review a card that proves it's worth as a sure-fire way to waste 20 seconds of the lives of your friends and family! Catch the magic!
 
The 500 Days of Summer monologue we talked about:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH1XR8gyYJE

”Make Me, Ding Dong”- Sun Tzu

It's time to count your blessings on a veritable mountain of egg-beans!
Join Bobby, Dan, and Saltine Dungeon Caleb as they Jib and also Jab on Spring holiday card expectations, jellybean company ranking, and unnecessary celebratory jello consumption! Soon after, the lads rate and review a card that'll make you want rev up the ole soft-serve ice machine, if only because you've got some mistakes to atone for!
Be sure to catch our no-act play, "Rosie O'Donnell and Beck are Dead", now playing somewhere, at a time.

Tonight, On Ghost Pervert!

How Long Can YOU Last in the Company of Someone that you Love?
We like to think you ponder that every time you open this Hellraiser box of audio!
Join Parsons Bobby, Dan, and Crinkle as they waste the school board budget on mushy peas, Industrious Susans, and Viagra Day, pretty close to the worst day of the year! Later, the scholars rate and review a card suitable for good Band or bad Spanish!
 
Just Don't!

The Shamecast: Hot, Carnal, Sticky, Stupid

Hope you're not too far on your high horse, cuz this week's all about SHAME and we feel great about it!(?)
Join Bobby, Dan, Aunt Glrn and Dr. Larm as they trip the light mediocre on topics like indie greetings cards with contemporary references, the politics of celebrity prayer candles, and why Dan detests fandoms so damn much! Later, our hosts review a real no-legged pony of a card, really bringing us full circle in the ole shame category!
 
Warning: Dan references the Sublime song "Santeria" like, 5-6 times. He thought it was hilarious. He thinks a lot of things. Let's cut him some slack, alright?